In honor of Transgender Awareness Month, Georgia Equality was fortunate to interview transgender trailblazer, Monica Helms. Monica Helms is the creator of the transgender pride flag and the founder of the Transgender American Veterans Association.

The interview is conducted by Jessica Douglas, Development & Communications Manager, denoted by “J,” and Monica Helms, “M.”

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J: Monica, I am really glad that you were able to take the time to speak with us.

M: Yeah, definitely, I’ve always supported Georgia Equality. I enjoy the work they do; it’s great stuff.

J: Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. Let’s go ahead and get started then. Let’s start with a bit about your background and sort of how you got into this work.

M: Well, I spent eight years in the navy and I served on two submarines. When you serve on submarines you learn to be very self-sufficient because if there’s flooding or a fire in a department that you’re in, then you have to be the first one to take care of it. So, if somebody is trained and knows what to do, then that is very helpful. It gives you a little bit of self-sufficiency and I was able to get through it and I also come from a family that likes to hoist themselves. Especially my mother, apparently she didn’t have any filter, so I kind of grew up that way. I take after her and a lot of times I do things without thinking about the filters and sometimes that helps.

J: Yeah it sort of depends on the time and place.

M: Exactly, and when I worked for Sprint in the early days in the 90’s before I transitioned, I tried to get a union there. I even got trained by the [AFL-CIO] union people. The kind of training I got was similar to what I would end up using as a trans person. So I started transitioning in ‘97 and then not too long after, I got my first chance in finding out about activism. A friend of mine and I went to DC to lobby Congress and it was my first time doing it. I learned a lot from that and, when I came back, I became more involved in what was going on in Arizona, where I lived.

Then, in 2000 I moved to Georgia and I started helping here in Georgia and I also did national lobbying. A friend of mine, Angela Brightfeather and I started the Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA) because we were seeing that veterans were not being treated equally to other veterans– even though other veterans were being treated crappy, we weren’t being treated at all. We would like to be equally crappy as they were. It took us eight and a half years and from 2003 to 2011 when we finally got the VA to put out a directive on how to properly treat transgender veterans and after ten years of being the president of TAVA, I resigned and went on to live my life. I got married in 2016 to a wonderful woman, Darlene Wagner, she’s got a Ph.D in Microbiology and works at the CDC, so she’s got a really wonderful job. That’s the kind of thing I’ve been involved with.

J: So you mentioned that you began transitioning in 1997. How do you think your experience might have differed if you had come out at an earlier or later date?

M: Well, I came out ten years earlier, but since I had a five year old and a three year old and a wife that did not like anything that I was doing, I pretty much had to hold on and wait. I found the right time– though it wasn’t really the right time– but it was about as right as it’s ever going to be. Now, my ex-wife is no longer alive, sadly the boys lost their mother a few years ago, and I am very close to my two sons and their family and their kids. I have two sons and four grandsons. All boys in this side of the family.

J: So I am curious, what kind of town did you grow up in and what kind of support system did you have when you were growing up, or if you didn’t have one, when did you first feel supported?

M: Well, I grew up in Phoenix, Arizona, so it was a big enough city. A lot of trans people were there so we had our own support groups and other things. A friend of mine and I– the one I went to DC with– she and I created an It’s Time Arizona which was for trans issues and so I felt pretty comfortable. The job I worked at Sprint, even though I spent a long time trying to put a union in, when I started transitioning they were making sure that I would not get harassed. Only subtle bigotry was what I was going to get. There were a lot of people that didn’t like the idea that I was transitioning. Even though, one year previous to my transitioning, I came to work on Halloween as ‘fully dressed.’ People were surprised at how well I looked.

J: Yeah, you came as yourself!

M: In 2000, I moved to Georgia and I was still working for Sprint and there was no problem there whatsoever. I felt that because I had all these issues of jobs taken care of, I found a voice and that’s where I started working with the transgender veterans and other issues too. One time, the local group here in Georgia, “TransAction,” was trying to get a place for trans people to stay in homeless shelters, but all the homeless shelters are faith-based and it was really difficult for us. So, I did quite a bit of work here in Georgia as well. Another thing, in 2004 I was elected as a delegate to the Democratic National Convention, so I went to Boston for the convention. It was amazing to be a part of that political aspect and there were only seven trans people there. We had our own little caucus going. I got to meet several people, it was pretty cool. John Glenn, he was a hero of mine. Then, Jerry Springer, I got to meet him. So, there were a lot of interesting things going on.

J: Yeah, that’s really incredible. So I am curious since we are on the note of politics and political engagement… How do you feel about the political climate of today and how has it changed since you were coming out and first transitioning? Do you feel like there is hope for positive movement in the coming years towards a world that’s more accepting and knowledgeable of LGBTQ struggles and more particularly trans struggles?

M: Well, when I came out and started getting involved, we weren’t even on anybody’s radar. It was back around “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” so lesbians were on the radar, but we weren’t. In fact, we weren’t even covered under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Then, it took them about another sixteen years or so before they came to start looking at us and trying to figure out things and the previous person that lived in the White House– I don’t want to call him a president– he put out like 150 different executive orders that were definitely detrimental to trans people. That particular party is not a friend of ours. No matter what we think, no matter what we do, people think that we can talk to them and we can get it taken care of. No, the kind of people that are in that party now are die-hard MAGA people. They will not be supportive of us in any way shape or form. In fact, they want to get rid of same-sex marriage. It doesn’t affect us much in different ways, but I am married to a trans woman so it would affect me.

But some of the things that are being said is Nazi Germany starting all over again. He started calling people that he doesn’t like, “vermins,” which is the same word that Hitler and Mussolini used, and that means that LGBT is part of those “vermins,” that he’s targeting plus the people he doesn’t like anyway. So, it is going to be a difficult time for us. If the Democrats win the White House then we will be a little safer, but it’s still the MAGA people who will be in the House and the Senate. We could take the House back, then that’s many differences between their majority and us. I like to say I am definitely a Democrat. I mean, I went to the convention in 2004, so I see where the issues are going to be.

In fact, Darlene and I are seriously thinking of moving to a blue state because this state may not become very safe for us, as much as Georgia Equality does, sometimes they can’t get all the things done; if they can’t protect us, we just have to take care of ourselves. It’s definitely a problem that I see and if [Trump] makes it in the White House again we may not even be US citizens any longer. Trans people have to be very careful. There’s a lot of people in Florida, a lot of trans people are moving to different states and we are just trying to survive. It’s almost like we are trying to get ahead of the extinction that could happen. It’s dangerous out there, I mean, my wife never did like the idea of owning a gun and now she owns a few just for that reason. It’s scary. It’s very scary.

J: Yeah, it reminds me of something in an interview with Chanel Haley that we sort of touched on, is the way that the movement and our goals have to shift over time. In that early on you are fighting for visibility and visibility is a double-edged sword, because once there’s enough visibility, you get this kind of backlash now that we are dealing with, with the opposition saying that ‘we’ve gone too far.’ And now the fight shifts from needing to increase visibility to needing to do education and destigmatize our identities, to fight a whole different fight than what folks have been doing for a long time now.

M: Yeah, and I sadly think that it’s going to be a fight that could be violent. I honestly believe that. So, people have to be prepared. As much as some people may not like the idea, you have to be prepared… So, you know, hey, you’ve got to have plans for everything. Whether it’s nature or human nature.

J: Yeah, so with that note and the idea of being prepared, if you could give any advice to trans folks who are new to their transition. What would you say is the most important thing to learn that will help someone feel more confident in their identity. What resources helped you in your transition?

M: Well, the most important thing about transitioning, when you start transitioning is to have plenty of friends with you. Safety in numbers. We just had our TDORR [Transgender Day of Remembrance & Resilience] event last night. There were 32 people on the list; four of them from Georgia. Have a lot of friends and I would say that before you start your transition, if you have friends that are close to you, let them know and find out which friends will stay with you because that will be very important. Having friends with you is the protection that you need to get through this, and for me that was also one of the things that I had. I had plenty of friends to help me through this and get started. I made other friends later on. I honestly believe that I have trans friends in a lot of parts of this world that I can count on to help me if I need it. That’s a very important thing and that was important for me.

J: Yeah, it’s really incredible that you’ve had such a good support system in your friendships and in your community. I think that’s something that– you know– it doesn’t come easy for many folks and I hope that your story and seeing the kind of friendships and community that you’ve had for decades now can sort of give some hope for those trans youth who do feel more isolated.

M: Yeah, I hope that some people will get through this, it’s a difficult time, and if you’ve got the willpower to make this transition, then you’ve got the willpower to do pretty much anything.

J: Yeah, absolutely. So getting back to your advocacy experience, I am curious what you feel has been the most impactful initiative by LGBTQ advocates during your lifetime. Whether that’s a specific written policy or just a movement or something that was done with grassroots organizing. And how do you think that those kinds of initiatives could improve in the coming years, or how have they improved already in your lifetime?

M: Well, one was the directive from the VA on how to properly treat trans people. It kind of got behind on that so they’re not doing it as much as they should. The VA needs to have an update or reminder that, hey, this is what’s supposed to happen. One of the other most important things was when they allowed trans people to serve openly in the military. I found that to be an amazing time and I’ve got several friends that have served while transitioning. When trans people were allowed to serve openly, it was great, but when it was taken away from them in the next administration, we all started fighting for it again and it came back two weeks after Biden became president. We were on his side right off the bat, it’s one of those things that’s just going to have to keep a lookout for because the next president, if it’s not somebody that’s on our side then they’ll take that stuff away from us again.

I got one friend, a trans man, Blake is his name. He is still serving and he is a submariner like I was. He was one of the first women to serve on submarines and then he transitioned, now still serving on submarines. He’s a commander now, so people are inspired by him. I am very happy to be a good friend of his. All of the [trans] submariners I know transitioned after they got out of the Navy; he’s the only one that didn’t, he transitioned in the navy. So he’s been awarded for his work and I’d hate to see him get removed from that simply because of who’s president.

J: Oh, absolutely. So I would be remiss if I didn’t ask you: What inspired you to create the transgender flag?

M: Oh, yes, I remember that! It was something that happened to me, I think! Well, in 1999, I was part of BiNet USA and I was having dinner with a lot of people and the person who created the Bisexual pride flag said, “You know, the trans people should have their own flag.” We went over things and he said the most important thing is to keep it simple because the least amount of stripes is the least amount of stitches and it’s cheaper to sell. Because, then, they weren’t doing any silk screening flags like they do today. It was about two weeks later and I woke up one morning and the image of the flag came to me. I was in bed and I jumped up and I drew it out and I said that it looks pretty good so I contacted the people that made the bisexual pride flag and they sent me some swatches and after I picked out the swatches they made the first flag.

I carried it everywhere, everywhere I went. I made sure that people saw it. People started wanting to know where they could get one themselves and a lot of people were ordering them and the company that made it for us, they were real happy that it became a good seller. It was like 2013 and I was looking online and seeing all these different Prides from all across the world, and I started seeing the trans colors and the trans flag in places. I was going, ‘What the heck is going on here?’ It was amazing that people were using it. The one that I created.

I have now seen it on every continent in the world including Antarctica. A guy took the rainbow flag and the trans flag to Antarctica and sent me a picture of it. There’s a trans woman who is a mountain climber and every time she climbs one of the highest mountains in the continents she holds a banner which has the trans colors on it. I do have one bucket-list thing that I want to see: I would like to see the trans flag unveiled in the International Space Station. Anybody out there who knows how to get that, let me know. I was seeing trans flags and colors, different parts of the world and I go, ‘Oh my gosh, I got the original one. I need to find a safe place to keep it.’ I started at the top and contacted the Smithsonian and, sure enough, they were collecting LGBT items, so in 2014 I donated the trans flag to the Smithsonian along with several other things that gave the story of me and who I was. I mean, it’s really cool to say you’ve got something in the Smithsonian, who would’ve thunk it. In 2016 they had it on display in the White House.

J: What is that feeling for you? Every time you see the flag you designed in pride parades across the world or on top of some incredible mountain, what is that feeling for you?

M: Well, at least I can leave this world knowing that I put a little dent in it before I go. It wasn’t intentional; I didn’t create it for other people, I created it for me, but other people liked it. So, I’m real surprised that it caught on this well and I’m happy. Next year, it’ll be 25 years old and the day I donated it to the Smithsonian, August 19th, was also the day that I created it. So, August 19th is Transgender Flag Day.

J: I’m biased, but I do think it’s the most beautiful flag colors. I work in communications for Georgia Equality, so I do a lot of graphic design and I, obviously with the attacks on trans kids, have done so much with the trans flag in the last year or two and I love the colors. It’s one of my favorite designs to work with, it really is.

M: Well, it’s interesting when even news broadcasts talk about transgender people, they show the flag. It’s like everybody knows it. I see demonstrations, videos of demonstrations in Washington DC or other places and the flag’s there. I am still amazed and I guess I will be that way for the rest of my life. I am glad that the trans community’s got something to rally around.

J: Absolutely, so my last question is what do you hope that trans folks will be able to experience that you didn’t when you were younger? What can we do to facilitate a world for trans people to live full and happy lives?

M: Well, there are several places in this country, several states, that have wonderful laws that protect trans people. They didn’t exist when I was transitioning. Places like California, which has some of the best laws, but even though it did, there were some people on the TDORR list from California. Laws alone are not going to guarantee that you have a safe life. The fact is that you’ve got to be with a lot of other people, safety in numbers, so we just have to keep working at it. The states that have put out some anti-trans laws, those people will have a lot of voting going on. We just have to work hard, don’t forget to vote. Definitely vote for people that will support us.

J: Absolutely, so is there anything else that you want to make sure that I include in this interview, or anything that you would like to say to our audience or to trans youth in particular?

M: I would just like to say to be careful, I love you all. I want to see the list of names on the TDORR to be smaller and smaller every year. It’s not happening yet, but I do want to see that. I just hope the best for all of you.

J: I think that’s a really beautiful sentiment to end on. Monica, thank you so much for agreeing to speak with us. This has been really incredible for me personally and also I think this will be so great for our audience; I am really glad that we can share your story with our supporters. I really appreciate you taking the time to speak with us, I know you’ve got a lot going on, but thank you so much.

M: Okay, you have a wonderful day.

Georgia Equality is grateful to Monica Helms for her important advocacy and contributions, and for taking the time to share her insights with our team.