Atlanta scores a perfect 100 on national LGBT protections report

SHARE
ADD YOUR VOICE

Supreme Court Will Hear Transgender Bathroom Case

November 2, 2016 by admin
SHARE
ADD YOUR VOICE

Georgia senators clash as anti-gay bill returns

October 26, 2016 by admin
SHARE
ADD YOUR VOICE

‘Emma is a boy’: An Alpharetta mom adapts to life with a transgender child

October 23, 2016 by admin
SHARE
ADD YOUR VOICE

LGBT community says Georgia should avoid discriminatory laws

October 21, 2016 by admin
SHARE
ADD YOUR VOICE

The Human Element: Raquel Willis on finding empowerment in her gender identity

October 20, 2016 by admin

12779087_10153891412755120_533676239363045510_oBy her own account, Raquel grew up in a traditional American family with a mom, a dad, and 2.5 kids.

Both of her parents had advanced degrees. Raquel attended charter schools as a teenager and then completed her bachelor’s degree at UGA. Raised Catholic, she attended church every weekend where her parents were both Sunday school teachers.

“In a lot of ways, it was that ‘Cosby Show’ Huxtable idea come true,” Raquel said.

But as a child, Raquel remembers feeling different. She is transgender and has been living openly for several years now as the woman she is. But at the time, she didn’t have the language to define what she was feeling.

All she knew for sure was that she felt unable to “live up to” the cisheteronormative standards that were set for her.

13227407_10154111358300120_1907527118269433806_o“There was that script of, ‘You’re a boy so you’re going to be like boys and never be conflicted over your gender,’” she said. “But that was not the case. I was very conflicted over my gender and very conflicted over my sexuality.”

Raquel was bullied a lot as a child—both at school, and among neighborhood kids.

“I got all kind of things said to me about being a sissy or being gay,” Raquel said.

She remembers one incident vividly. She was about ten years old and even though her long-term neighborhood friends never really gave her a hard time, one day a new boy joined the group. He quickly became the group leader—someone who called the shots and was never challenged.

“I needed to prove that who I am is fine. And prove that I’m stronger than any of the horrible things people say to me.”

Raquel said he started to pit the other kids against her. He was constantly calling her names, and saying things like, “You’re so gay.”

Slowly, Raquel became ostracized from the group. And one day, an older teenaged girl confronted her and said, “You’re going to have to prove yourself—that you’re not actually gay.”

Instinctively, Raquel retorted, “I don’t have to prove myself to anyone.”

proof_img_2826a

Raquel said she’ll never forget that moment. For her it was a moment of empowerment—she had never really stuck up for herself. But it was also a moment that set the tone for the rest of her life.

“From that moment on it wasn’t a matter of will I come out. It was a matter of when,” Raquel said. “In a way, she was right. But it’s not that I needed to prove that I’m not gay—it’s that I needed to prove that who I am is fine. And prove that I’m stronger than any of the horrible things people say to me.”

Four years later, Raquel told her family she was gay.

“I had had enough,” she said. “I needed to come out to my parents so that I could be out at school. For some reason I just assumed things would be easier if I was out. No one could insult me about it because it would be a fact.”

And Raquel was right. After she came out at school, the bullying stopped and her peers began to accept her for who she was.

Her parents had a harder time coming to terms with her sexuality. But Raquel said that once they realized she wasn’t going to back down about who she was, they were able to move beyond their discomfort and unfamiliarity and forge a healthy relationship.

“There will always be people who don’t think like you or look like you. And you just have to love them. There’s that human element. We’re all different but we can still respect each other.”

For Raquel, coming out as gay was a huge weight off. Until then, she felt as though she was keeping a big, bad secret and had to calculate her every move to be sure no one found her out.

But even after she came out as gay something still didn’t feel right. It wasn’t until she started attending the University of Georgia that she developed the vocabulary for what she was feeling and began to question her gender identity.

12087912_10153943835110120_1053242687376494814_o“Once I went to college was when I started realizing, ‘OK, I guess I’m not really just gay,’” Raquel said. “I realized I actually am a woman and I need to take these steps to transition. So I went to therapy and got my head around it and my junior year of college was really when I started to present in the way I wanted to.”

She got her name changed to Raquel and started using female pronouns. Even though she was confident and proud of her decision—transitioning was incredibly isolating.

Raquel was one of only a handful of Black LGBTQ people who were living openly in the conservative and predominantly white college UGA campus. And she was one of two transgender women, the other of whom was a professor.

“I transitioned in front of the entire campus,” Raquel recalled. “Knowing what I know now, it was one of those moments of ignorance is bliss. I didn’t have any Black trans folks around me, or trans folks in general, or trans women—I didn’t know how many risks I was taking and how risky it was to be openly trans at that point.

“I felt alone in my experience a lot of the time. Looking back on it, I have no idea where that sheer instinct to survive came from.”

“I don’t have to prove myself to anyone.”

Raquel had to blaze her own path without many role models—but that only fueled her desire to build a support system to students who came after her. As Executive Director of the LGBTQ school group, Raquel was driven to create a safe space for younger incoming students who were questioning their gender identity to do so in a healthy way.

“I always try to be open to the identities I don’t fully understand,” she said. “That’s what my activism is truly about. I’m here to hold the door open for the people and identities we don’t know about.”

13669337_10154234274785120_1452569473941377740_oRaquel is the first person to say if you don’t understand someone’s sexuality or gender identity—it’s ok, that’s normal. Her advice?

“There will always be people who don’t think like you or look like you. And you just have to love them. There’s that human element. We’re all different but we can still respect each other.”

***

 

Raquel is a transgender woman living and working in Atlanta. She writes for BuzzFeed and her story has been featured on the New York Times, the AJC, and WABE as covered by the Georgia Voice. You can read her personal blog here.

SHARE
ADD YOUR VOICE

Voting while trans: Georgians face hurdles at polls

October 20, 2016 by admin
SHARE
ADD YOUR VOICE

Strict Voter ID Laws Could Disenfranchise 25,000 Transgender Voters, According to the Williams Institute

October 19, 2016 by admin

Early voting began in Georgia this week, and all eyes are on Georgia’s voter ID requirement, which is one of the strictest in the nation. Voter ID laws can be an obstacle for many people, including transgender and gender-nonconforming people.

voting-twitter

To vote early or at the polls on Election Day, Georgians must present a government-issued ID that includes a photo and full legal name. But many transgender Georgians may not have an ID that meets this requirement, either because their photo no longer looks like them or the name or gender information listed is outdated.

According to a report from the Williams Institute—a think tank dedicated to conducting research on sexual orientation and gender identity in law and public policy—these voter ID requirements could therefore disenfranchise more than 25,000 transgender voters.

State driver’s licenses and U.S. passports are the two most common forms of acceptable voter identification documents. Both are accepted for the purposes of voter identification in Georgia. But of Georgia’s more than 11,000 transgender residents, nearly 40 percent who have transitioned say they do not have up-to-date identification.

27 percent of transgender residents nationwide report that they have no identifying documents consistent with their current gender.

However, transgender voters who lack an updated ID or have other concerns about in-person voting (such as facing harassment or discrimination at your polling place) can make sure their vote is counted by voting absentee, according to Georgia Equality.

To vote absentee, you must fill out an application for an absentee ballot and either mail it, fax it or deliver it in person to your county registrar’s office. Once you receive your absentee ballot, it’s a good practice to make sure it’s in the mail by Friday, November 4 to ensure it’s delivered by Election Day.

Don’t let yourself be disenfranchised this year! There’s too much at stake, both nationally and at the Georgia statehouse. If you have other questions or concerns about voting, check out Georgia Equality’s Transgender Voter ID Toolkit.

SHARE
ADD YOUR VOICE

Atlanta Remains #1 in LGBT Inclusivity in the State of Georgia

October 17, 2016 by admin

For the fourth consecutive year in a row, Atlanta leads the state of Georgia with top scores on LGBT equality.

mei-twitter-1

The Municipal Equality Index (MEI) is an annual report that reviews cities’ commitment to LGBT equality on the basis of five criteria: Non-discrimination laws, employment protections and benefits, city services, law enforcement, and elected leaders’ relationship with the LGBT community.

Cities then receive a score from zero to one hundred. In fact, the scorecard explicitly indicated that municipal ratings “cannot exceed 100.”

But this year, Atlanta managed to exceed a perfect 100% rating. With a final score of 104, the city received bonus points for having openly LGBT elected officials, and for the implementation of an enforcement mechanism within its Human Rights Commission, which was created to investigate and resolve complaints regarding discrimination.

Savannah, Georgia has made significant strides on LGBT inclusion in the past year—more than doubling its score from 19 to 44. The city earned major points for its new non-discrimination ordinance, which protects LGBT city employees and passed with unanimous support.

Extending those protections to all LGBT residents and visitors would earn Savannah 30 additional points and put it in a strong position to become the second city in the Peach State to win a perfect score on LGBT equality.

SHARE
ADD YOUR VOICE

Growing U.S. Majority Agrees: Transgender Americans Deserve Equal Treatment on the Job and in Public Accommodations

October 11, 2016 by admin
SHARE
ADD YOUR VOICE

Georgia Scores Big With ACC Championships, But Some Lawmakers Still Want A License to Discriminate

October 6, 2016 by admin

This week, Georgia scored big when the Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC) awarded the Peach State three of its championship games after pulling them from North Carolina in boycott of its anti-transgender HB 2 law.

scores-twitter

On Tuesday the ACC announced that Georgia would be now host the ACC Women’s Swimming and Diving/Men’s Diving Championships from Feb. 13-16 and the ACC Men’s Swimming Championship from Feb. 27-March 2, as well as the Men’s and Women’s Tennis Championships from April 26-30.

Georgia was a competitive location thanks to Gov Deal’s veto of HB 757, which sent a signal to the ACC that our state is serious about promoting a welcoming atmosphere for tourists as well as business investment. Governor Deal’s veto has led to other recent economic investments in our state, including GE’s decision to relocate its digital services division to Atlanta, and the NFL’s decision to award Atlanta the 2019 Super Bowl.

However, if legislators again try to push discriminatory bills during the 2017 legislative session, all of this could be in jeopardy. HB 757 almost sunk our economy last year, and the Atlanta Convention and Visitors Bureau is warning that could still happen. The group pointed to recent studies that showed the city would lose 40 percent of the economic stimulus it brings in from hotel room rentals alone.

Since North Carolina’s Governor Pat McCrory signed HB 2 into law, the state has lost up to $450 million in diverted tourism revenue, frozen investments, and cancelled entertainment and sports events.

Clearly, Governor Deal’s veto and the ACC’s decision to move 3 championships have been a boon for Georgia’s economy. But not everyone is happy with the decision. Sen. Fran Millar—a vocal backer of HB 757, legislation that would have given a “license to discriminate”—took to social media today to blast the ACC.

According to the AJC, he wrote on Facebook: “I hope few people will attend these events. We are taking advantage of a state that stood by its principles and I find it shameful.”

The economic fallout from HB 2 shows clearly that Senator Millar needs to put his personal beliefs aside and start working to pass legislation that helps Georgia’s economy, instead of championing discriminatory bills that would hurt it.

Click here to send Sen. Millar a message to let him know you support the ACC’s decision—and urge him to stop letting his personal views get in the way of Georgia’s economic prosperity.

SHARE
ADD YOUR VOICE

Georgia Unites Launches Transgender Storytelling Project to Combat Discrimination

October 5, 2016 by admin

Today, Georgia Unites is proud to launch Transgender Voices of Georgia—a storytelling web hub dedicated to raising public awareness of who transgender people are, the unique hardships they face, and to make the case for their fair and equal treatment under the law.

ga_hub_tw3

Transgender people are more visible than ever before. The Williams Institute estimates that there are approximately 1.4 million transgender people living in the United States—that’s almost double estimates from 2011.

Georgia has the fourth largest population of transgender people, by state, with more than 55,000 people reportedly living in the Peach State.

But with increased visibility has come increased rates of discrimination, harassment, and violence.

Findings from a 2011 study by NCTE and the Task Force show that 63% of transgender participants had experienced a “serious act of discrimination”—events like a lost job, eviction, homelessness, and assault that drastically impede one’s ability to sustain themselves financially or emotionally.

A vast 78% of transgender students reported harassment at school. Nine out of ten (90%) respondents had experienced harassment, mistreatment or discrimination on the job. And one in five (19%) reported having been denied housing because of their gender identity.

Transgender people are approximately twenty-five times more likely to attempt suicide than the general population.

This year, an estimated 34,000 transgender people will be barred from voting due to restrictive voter ID laws. Nearly half (40%) of the voting eligible transgender population in Georgia will face restrictions to voting.

The newly launched transgender storytelling hub seeks to spotlight these inequalities, to put a human face to discrimination, and build understanding and acceptance for transgender people.

pride-2015Ultimately, transgender people are a lot like their non-transgender peers. They have families. We spoke to Gabe Pelz, a transgender father, who transitioned when his daughter was around five years old. He said honesty, open communication, and lots of love made the transition easy. And ultimately, his daughter was one of the people in his life who most readily accepted his gender identity. “Kids accept things a lot better than adults do,” Gabe said.

 

dad picWe spoke to James Sheffield, a long-time health advocate for LGBT people, and specifically for transgender people. He shared his experience of coming out to his father, a small-town man from southern Georgia. Even though his father had a hard time understanding what it means to be transgender, he supported James’ decision and loved him anyway.

IMG_8316

image-1Quinn Hudson, an employee of DeKalb County Schools, talked to us about his strong Methodist faith and how it gave him the tools to bring unconditional love to his family—and specifically, to his relationship with his transgender son Wallace.

“I brought to my relationship a love for my children as paramount,” Quinn said. “To me nothing would undermine my unconditional love for my children, and I learned about unconditional love through my faith journey and through my studying scripture and being active in the Methodist Church.”

Allie3And Jen Slipakoff talked about the need for transgender-inclusion at school to ensure all—including her transgender daughter Allie—students can participate fully and equally regardless of their gender identity.

Transgender people are public servants. Dana Fuchko is a transgender veteran who is now speaking out in support of a recent Pentagon decision to lift the ban on transgender service members. After having proudly served her country, she hopes to one day be fully protected in her home state of Georgia.

10647094_1471855789744469_1870256378965313562_nJake Moore can speak first-hand to the need for protections, after having been discriminated against and denied service at a spa just outside of Atlanta. He and his girlfriend are sharing their story to help make the case for fair and equal treatment under the law.

At the end of the day, transgender people want the same things as everyone else—to work hard, create a home for their families, and to go about their day-to-day lives without fear of harassment or discrimination.

 

MORE RESOURCES

If you are an LGBT person who has experience discrimination or harassment because of your sexual orientation or gender identity—or simply someone who supports fair and equal treatment for LGBT Georgians under the law—and would like to share your story, click here.

If you are transgender, and you are concerned about your eligibility to vote, click here to get redirected to Georgia Equality’s Transgender Voter ID Toolkit and learn about your options.

If you are a transgender student or a parent who believes your child has been discriminated against at schools, visit Lambda Legal’s Transgender Students Rights Watch to log a complaint and get connected with legal experts and resources.

 

SHARE
ADD YOUR VOICE

A Father’s Faith Provides Guidance for Loving and Supporting His Transgender Son

October 4, 2016 by admin

Quinn works in the DeKalb County school system and has been attending the Decatur First United Methodist Church for more than 30 years. He teaches adult Sunday school, and he volunteers at the Arrendale Women’s Prison and on the Appalachia Service Project as part of the church’s mission outreach.

Quinn strives to live his life by Methodist doctrine, which teaches that one’s relationship with God, community, and the world is founded on four pillars: scripture, reason, experience, and tradition.

He calls it a process for understanding and building relationships.

image-1“It’s not telling you what God’s word is. You have to work at it,” he said. “It’s a constant ongoing process, which is what relationships and community are all about.”

Quinn has also always been drawn to Methodism as a faith tradition because of its long history and commitment to social justice.

Growing up, Quinn felt like he was living at the fault line of two very different worlds.

“Racism and sexism and misogyny were a daily occurrence in my life,” he said.

He was coming of age in the 1960s and ‘70s. He lived through the Supreme Court Brown vs. Board of Education decision, which desegregated schools, and the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Act of 1964 and ’65, which extended federal non-discrimination protections and the right to vote to African Americans.

He had black friends and influential teachers who got him involved in the movements for civil rights and women’s rights.

“I would hear these derogatory comments from my family members about black people. And I would say, ‘What? That’s not my experience.‘”

For Quinn, the biggest turning point in terms of his social perspective came in 1968 when Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated; Bobby Kennedy was assassinated; and the Tet Offensive, one of the largest military campaigns of the war, launched in Vietnam.

“People were dying needlessly,” he said. “And that kind of brought it all together for me. I became very active in the anti-war movement and in the civil rights movement in Atlanta in the early ‘70s.”

“I never had second thoughts, doubts, questions—other than trying to understand what he was going through. I loved him unconditionally, and everything else was detail.”

img_4448Flash forward to present day. Quinn is married with four adult children: Three daughters and the youngest, his transgender son Wallace.

For Quinn and his family, coming to terms with his son’s gender identity was a process—much like his faith journey and his commitment to social justice.

But Quinn said that he and his wife always knew that Wallace was different.

“We’ve got tons of pictures of him when he was four and five years old,” Quinn said. “On Halloween he would always dress up as a boy. And when he went to school, at recess he preferred playing with the boys over hanging out with the girls. He never had an interest in dolls. Even though his mother and I dressed him up every day with a big bow in his hair, he always preferred pants and male clothing. He wanted to dress up as a soldier, and he wanted to wear blue jeans. So we knew he did not identify as a female from the very beginning.”

img_4444 img_4446 00000001

 

Quinn said his faith practice taught him that, regardless of his son’s gender identity, he would love Wallace unconditionally.

“I brought to my relationship a love for my children as paramount. To me nothing would undermine my unconditional love for my children, and I learned about unconditional love through my faith journey and through my studying scripture and being active in the Methodist Church,” Quinn said. “I never had second thoughts, doubts, questions—other than trying to understand what he was going through. It never crossed my mind because I loved him unconditionally, and everything else was detail.”

Wallace fully transitioned his senior year at Wesleyan College, an all-women’s college in Macon, GA. And he was well-accepted among his peers.

For Quinn, what mattered most was that Wallace felt supported. In speaking at his son’s baccalaureate, Quinn said, “Wesleyan College performed its role as a college, and that was to give our child the opportunity to grow and to be who he really is.”

image-1-1

Wallace has also been embraced by the faith community at Decatur First United Methodist Church.

Quinn says LGBT inclusion and acceptance is just the Methodist thing to do.

“We get back to scripture, and Christ is quoted as saying that he came to fulfill all the laws of the prophets, the 613 do’s and don’ts in the Hebrew bible, our Old Testament—and they can all be summed up in one rule or law: To love God with all your heart, mind, and soul, and your neighbor as yourself.”

Quinn has watched first-hand as America has made incredible strides in civil rights, women’s rights, and now LGBT rights. But he knows there’s still a long way to go to ensure that all people—including transgender people—feel safe and equally protected from discrimination and harm. And until Georgia lawmakers take concrete steps to prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, LGBT Georgians will continue to live under threats of unfair treatment, harassment, and abuse.

For now, as a parent of a transgender child and someone who works in public schools, Quinn has a message for transgender youth who are struggling with their gender identity: Find community.

“There are lots of people who support you, care for you, and are there to help you regardless of your personal circumstances. The networks are there, the community is there. Don’t think you’re alone.”

“Transgender children are 18 times more likely to attempt suicide than their peers—their non-transgender peers. To me someone that attempts suicide has to have a tremendous pain that they’re trying to get rid of.

“So what I would say to transgender children and teenagers is that community is very important. There are lots of people who support you, care for you, and are there to help you regardless of your personal circumstances—if you’ve been rejected by family and friends, even if you’ve been rejected by your church.

“The networks are there, the community is there. Don’t think you’re alone.”

SHARE
ADD YOUR VOICE

When Discrimination Happens to You: One couple shares their story, calls for protections

October 4, 2016 by admin

12279007_10206911606644201_6405209691190453741_nIn June, a Florida couple was discriminated against at a spa in Duluth just outside of Atlanta. And because Georgia lacks explicit statewide protections prohibiting discrimination against LGBT people, Jake and Amber have limited legal options for addressing the incident.

That’s why they’re sharing their story—to help raise awareness about everyday discrimination that transgender people face and to make the case for state laws ensuring fair and equal treatment.

 

***

Jake and Amber had just completed a rigorous seven-day hike on the Appalachian Trail and were eager to rest their aching muscles and relax from their hike. They were recommended Jeju Sauna by a friend.

But before they even arrived, Jake had a bad feeling.

“For some reason my gut was telling me not to go in. And usually my gut’s right,” he said.

“We should be able to have a good time and enjoy our vacation,” said Amber.

Jake self identifies as trans masculine gender queer person, which means that he does not prescribe to the idea that there’s a “right” or “wrong” way to be masculine or feminine. However, he does present masculinely and he uses the pronouns he, him, and his, as well as singular they pronouns. Even though he prefers to use gender neutral facilities when they’re available, when it comes to sex-segregated facilities, he uses the men’s room because that’s where he feels safest.

14188493_10209118020563170_4794624386561224950_oIn most areas of life, Jake feels well supported in his gender identity. He works for the University of North Florida, which has had gender-neutral facilities in addition to sex-segregated facilities for years. His loving girlfriend, Amber, has been a strong support system since they met on an election campaign in March 2015. And his mother—who recognized he was different from a very young age—has been one of his biggest advocates since he initially came out as LGBT at the age of 14.

But despite his strong support system, Jake is well aware that, under state law in both Georgia and his home state of Florida, he has no explicit protections from discrimination.

He’s most keenly aware of his lack of protections when he’s in public places like restaurants, shopping centers, doctor’s offices, and government buildings.

“I’m more apt to frequent restaurants that have a gender neutral restrooms because I know I can use the restroom safely there,” he said. “For instance, our local BJ’s Restaurant and Brewhouse has a family restroom so we go there more often because I know I can drink two beers and—obviously if you drink two beers you’re going to have to go to the bathroom. I know I can drink two beers and be safe doing it. You’d think that’d be in the context of driving home but really I’m just trying to go to the bathroom.”

10452290_1524734041123310_2137508904779084112_nThis is the type of calculus Jake does whenever he leaves work or home.

How many hours until I need to use the restroom? Will I be near facilities that I can use safely?

This is the calculus that was running through Jake’s mind when he and Amber were planning a spa day with their friend. After reviewing the company’s website, Jake saw that the spa had sex-segregated facilities, and his immediate gut reaction was: Don’t go.

He was nervous that because the company wasn’t explicitly inclusive of transgender people, that he might be denied service because of his gender identity. But Amber said they decided as a group to go ahead with their plans.

“I was sort of coming from the angle of we shouldn’t have to worry about this,” Amber said. “We should be able to have a good time and enjoy our vacation.”

“There’s a discrepancy with your ID.”

When they arrived at the spa, the group signed standard paperwork, and left their IDs at the front desk in return for a unisex uniform required of all guests, and a key to a locker in the changing room.

The receptionist gave Jake a key to the men’s locker room and they gave Amber and their friend keys to the women’s locker room—no hesitation, no questions asked.

The group went their separate ways and, after setting down his belongings in front of his locker, Jake went to the bathroom stall to change out of his street clothes and into the standard issue spa uniform.

But when he came out of the stall, there was an employee standing at the door of the changing room.

“There’s a discrepancy with your ID,” they said.

Jake explained that he’s transgender and that he uses men’s facilities, but that he hasn’t gotten his ID changed to reflect that.

The spa staff wouldn’t budge.

“You hear other people’s stories, but you don’t think it’s gonna happen to you,” Jake said.

“At that point, I knew I wasn’t going to get anywhere,” Jake said. He got permission to change. Put on his street clothes. And exited the changing room back into the lobby.

Meanwhile, Amber and her friend had already changed and entered the spa. So spa staff had to page them over the loudspeaker. And when they returned to the locker room, a manager told Amber, “There’s a problem with your boyfriend.”

Amber was furious.

“The manager kept trying to say that it was state law. That we could stay but that state law said Jake had to use the women’s changing rooms.”

This is false. In Georgia, there are no explicit state laws protecting LGBT people from discrimination. But there are also no explicit state laws dictating that establishments are required to deny service to gay or transgender people on the basis of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

A law like this does exist in the neighboring state of North Carolina. HB 2 gives license to discriminate against transgender people by denying them access to facilities that match their gender identity—and it has cost the state upwards of four hundred million dollars in frozen business investments, diverted tourism revenue, and cancelled events from concerts to NBA, NCAA and ACC championships games. Jake and Amber were well aware of this harmful law, and it was a big reason why their vacation plans did not include any treks through the Tarheel State.

Jake, for his part, was in shock.

“You hear other people’s stories, but you don’t think it’s gonna happen to you,” he said.

And even though he has felt uncomfortable and unsafe in restrooms before, including instances where others have asked him to leave a restroom, Jake had never been blatantly discriminated against and denied service like this before.

“I asked the manager: “So you’re telling me you want a person that’s been injecting themselves with testosterone for two years, who has facial hair to walk into the women’s restroom or locker room and make your female clients feel unsafe?”

Ultimately, the group demanded refunds and left as quickly as they could.

***

This is an example of the type of discrimination that transgender people live in fear of every day.

12418952_10207074856085335_5712539166498335085_oAnd for Jake and Amber, it felt ironic that it happened in Georgia of all places.

Georgia, which has billed itself as open for business to all since Governor Deal vetoed an anti-LGBT religious exemptions bill earlier this year.

Georgia, which has readily accepted major investments from General Electric, Honeywell, and Adidas in recent months—investments which were contingent in part upon Georgia’s open and welcoming business climate, and which will ultimately create thousands of new jobs.

Amber said, “It wasn’t like a normal situation where we’re out somewhere and a business does something wrong and you tell them and they’re like, “Oh my god, we’re so sorry. I’ll take care of this right now. What can we do?””

“They definitely were not apologetic.”

More than anything, this is a glaring example of why non-discrimination protections are so important. Georgia is full of tolerant, fair-minded people. And building a state brand of inclusiveness is important to both the state economy and the wellbeing of local communities.

But there will always be bad apples. And until state lawmakers take action to advance explicit protections for LGBT people, discrimination will continue to happen across the state—threatening the safety and livelihoods of gay and transgender Georgians, and ultimately jeopardizing a state economy built on the grounds of equal treatment for all.

13603440_10210734205176972_2371059205223918579_o

SHARE
ADD YOUR VOICE

Transgender Father On Coming Out to His Daughter and Her Unbending Acceptance

October 4, 2016 by admin

Gabe is a transgender dad. And his daughter, Rye, is his world.

Rye was around four years old when Gabe first started explaining to her that he was transgender and that he would be transitioning from mommy to daddy.

rye-and-me“I just told her that I never felt right in my body,” Gabe said. “I let her know what kind of changes she may notice. And if she had any questions or concerns and if anything bothered her, she should let me know.

“My family is just very open. We talk about everything.”

Gabe said it was always a top priority for him as a parent to have an open, honest, and communicative relationship with his daughter, because that’s the type of relationship he always had with his family. When he decided he wanted to transition to live his life as the man he knew he was, that priority didn’t change.

But Gabe was nervous. “I was always worried she was gonna get picked on at school. That was probably my biggest fear,” he said.

But the issue never came up. Rye has never been bullied. Gabe’s gender identity isn’t a source of conflict for her or her peers. In fact, Gabe has always felt resoundingly accepted by his daughter—just as he is.

“Kids accept things a lot better than adults do,” Gabe said. “And I’ve always been there for her and been providing and we love each other so there was never any problem at all.”

***

Unfortunately, some of the adults in Gabe’s life were not so readily accepting.

“It was very difficult transitioning at work,” Gabe said. “It was probably one of the hardest things I had to do.”

When he first started transitioning, Gabe was working at a small family owned restaurant in Douglas, Georgia, just a few miles from his hometown of Pearson. And his bosses were not supportive of his gender identity.

“It was very difficult transitioning at work,” Gabe said. “It was probably one of the hardest things I had to do.”

The owner refused to call him by his preferred pronouns and chosen name—even after he had it legally changed. And they enforced a business-wide rule prohibiting other employees from calling Gabe by his name and pronouns.

When Gabe’s bosses found out that one of his coworkers was referring to him as Gabe, the owner pulled her aside and had a one-on-one conversation so severe that he made her cry.

“One coworker was calling me Gabe and my boss talked so ugly to her that that wasn’t allowed there, we keep that for Facebook and when we see each other away from work. Actually had her in tears she talked to her so bad.”

Gabe said his bosses’ lack of support was incredibly hurtful.

“There’s so much hate in the world why contribute more to it? I’m the same as anyone else,” Gabe said.

Being from a town of just a couple thousand people, almost everyone knew one another. Gabe had grown up with his boss’s kids. He had frequent sleepovers as a child with his boss’s step-daughter, and they grew up to raise their own children side-by-side.

He knew his bosses probably didn’t understand what it meant to be transgender, but he thought they would—at minimum—be accepting of him for who he is.

His mom—who has been always been loving and supportive of Gabe—worked at the same restaurant. He recalls one instance when they were talking in a group with other employees and the owners, and his mom said she’d always wanted to work on a cruise.

His boss’s response was: “If my daughter came to me and said they were gonna be a boy I’d try to get as far away as I could as well.”

Eventually, after struggling with the verbal harassment and abuse for over a year, Gabe got the Transgender Law Center involved to help enforce the use of his real name at work.

“And even after that it was like pulling teeth. They still didn’t want to cooperate,” he said. “[My lawyer] mailed a letter and they wouldn’t respond. They faxed. They said they didn’t get the fax. And finally, they just called them.”

After five or so years at the restaurant—and one and a half years battling his owners for the right to be called by his legal name—Gabe took time off for surgery. And he never went back.

pride-2015

Since then, Gabe has moved to Atlanta to accept a job at a real estate firm and pursue his real estate license. And this work experience has been polar opposite to his experience in Douglas.

“No one really knew in our office that I was transgender until FTM Magazine done an article on my daughter and myself,” Gabe said. “So no one knew that I was trans until the story was shared by my boss. She’s Facebook friends with everyone in the office. So when she shared it on Facebook, they seen it.”

Gabe hadn’t anticipated his coworkers seeing the FTM feature story. So when people approached him at the office, seemingly out of nowhere, he was a little caught off guard.

“Honestly, I didn’t really think about the office people seeing it,” Gabe said. “For some reason that never even crossed my mind until we were sitting in a meeting and a lady that I sat beside said, ‘I loved your story.’

“I got nothing but positive feedback.”

“I’m a better person since I transitioned. I’m a better parent, a better brother, I’m a better son because I am now truly happy with myself.”

Ultimately, Gabe is really happy with his life now. He’s confident and well supported—both at work, and at home by his daughter, mom, and extended family.

But his early experiences as a transgender person will always stay with him. He knows first-hand the harassment and discrimination that too many transgender people face. And he knows that, in Georgia, there are still no statewide laws to protect him from unfair treatment and harm.

That’s why he’s sharing his story. To show lawmakers and everyday Georgians that transgender people aren’t that different—they just want to work hard, create a home, and live freely just like everyone else.

“There’s so much hate in the world why contribute more to it? I’m the same as anyone else,” Gabe said. “And I tell people, I’m a better person since I transitioned. I’m a better parent, a better brother, I’m a better son because I am now truly happy with myself.”

SHARE
ADD YOUR VOICE

Twitter Icon@GeorgiaUnites

We were so grateful to be able to profile Rachel last year. Her story is inspiring and it's sad to see her treated unfairly. Thank you Rachel for standing up for yourself! bit.ly/2VTK7j3

About 5 years ago

Follow Us On Twitter